Aristotle once said, “Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has
meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals.” We’ve been taught
that the single most important step in any major accomplishment is setting a
specific goal. Having a goal keeps our mind focused on that goal, and allows
us to successfully rise above the many challenges that will come our way.
But what if we don’t have goals? Will we succeed? More importantly, will we
be happy? What if these very goals that we’ve created are the impediments to our
own happiness? Instead of becoming happy with our present lives, we feel empty
and lacking because we have not reached all the goals that we have set out for
ourselves. We always feel that happiness is still one goal away, despite
reaching several of our goals. “I’ll be happy if I get the promotion,” or “I’ll
be happy if I stop traveling too much and spend more time with my family.”
A new book by Stephen Shapiro shatters all the beliefs we have on goal
setting. In his new book “Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want NOW!
” (Wiley, January 2006), Shapiro shows us that the life we want is not
far out of our reach. The life we want is not a goal away; instead, the life
we really want is already here. This insightful book teaches us “how to
recognize and explore exciting new possibilities and opportunities available
to all of us each and every day.”
In our quest for the ideal life, we set goals for ourselves in order to
succeed in this increasingly competitive world. However for some, the
process of goal setting never stops, even if they have successfully achieved
their goals. Life becomes a game of chasing one goal after the other, and
forgetting to stop and smell their success. As Shapiro writes, “Goalaholics
become slaves to their goals and ignore, miss or simply cannot see the
limitless possibilities that exist all around them.” A goal-free lifestyle
will end this frustrating cycle.
So how do we achieve a goal-free lifestyle? Shapiro provides this advice
in the Eight Secrets of Goal-Free Living:
Secret #1 – Use a compass, not a map.
According to Shapiro, maps are tools to get to our destination as quickly
and efficiently as possible. But life is not about efficiency. It is about
passion, or exuberance – and we cannot map out passion effectively. What we
need is a compass – a sense of direction in order that life can unfold
naturally. Even if we hit roadblocks and challenges, stick with our
directions. The key, therefore, is to discover our passions, get the skills
we need, and create value for ourselves and others. Experience life, not
over-intellectualize it.
Secret #2 – Trust that you are never lost
Shapiro writes, “There’s always uncertainty in making a decision but when
you recognize that there’s opportunity on every path, you can trust that you
are never lost and are not making mistakes.” Understand that life is
designed with many paths, and we are free to choose any directions we want.
There is no excuse to remain unsatisfied or unhappy, because we can always
shift our focus to something that will make us happy. And don’t be afraid of
detours; think of every detour as a chance to experience new things. The
important thing is that we are committed to your chosen path.
Secret #3 – Remember that opportunity knocks
often, but sometimes softly
Opportunities are everywhere. Yet we do not see them when we become too
focused and adopt a myopic vision towards our goals. Per Shapiro, “When you
let go of a focus on your goals, your peripheral vision expands to see
opportunities that surround you – inside and out. You assume that anything
and everything is an opportunity and that anything and everything is
possible.” Ask ourselves, what or who in our vicinity or industry can give
us the next big idea? Do we have untapped talents that when unlocked, can
provide tremendous opportunity for advancement? Keep our eyes open, and
understand that we can also create our own opportunities.
Secret #4 – Want what you have
“In order to have the life you want now, you have to appreciate the life
you have now,” according to book’s author. Sometimes we become so absorbed
in waiting for the next big thing or waiting for that “better” future that
we fail to appreciate where we are today. One technique Shapiro suggests in
order that we learn to better appreciate our present lives is to keep a
gratitude journal, wherein we list all the things that we are thankful for
in our present lives. It is also important that we appreciate ourselves, and
understand that we do not need anyone to complete us.
Secret #5 – Seek out adventure
Shapiro starts this chapter by borrowing a quote from Steve Jobs:
“Creativity is just having enough dots to connect … connect experiences and
synthesize new things. The reason creative people are able to do that is
that they’ve had more experiences or have thought more about their
experiences than other people.” We need to remain open to the many
possibilities of life, and be open to new experiences. Go find our luck,
instead of sitting and simply waiting for it to come.
Secret #6 – Become a people magnet
Other people can offer you the learning you need so it is important that
you are open to building connections with the people you meet. You might
never know if the next person you meet might have the biggest impact on your
life. Start a random conversation. Be open to possibilities with other
people.
Secret #7 – Embrace your limits
Shapiro advocates, “Take time to acknowledge your own humanness and to
turn it into a source of power.” Acknowledge that we have fears and limits,
but learn to turn them into positives. Every failure is an opportunity for
success; in every weakness, there is strength. Learn to grow from our
mistakes and provide a new perspective to an old problem.
Secret #8 – Remain detached
Detachment is a commitment to the future while focusing on the present.
It is not about being indifferent, or blasé, or doing nothing at all. It is
also not about trying too hard. Rather, it is choosing big and bold
aspirations that are inspiring, yet potentially beyond reach. Doing so will
free us from the stress about achieving it.
The book is a very interesting read, especially if you feel that life is
not what it should or what you hope it to be.
Goal-Free Living: How to Have the Life You Want NOW!
By Stephen M. Shapiro
Wiley (January 3, 2006)
ISBN: 0471772801
240 pages
